


'Little Dude'? Are Ye Fockin' Kiddin' Me?

by aqqrieved



Series: Tian!Jack AU [2]
Category: Game Grumps, Jacksepticeye RPF, Markiplier RPF, Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Cussing, Everyone Is Gay, Human everyone else, Jack's POV, M/M, Multi, a good half of this is the same as the original but theres more jack, basically a peak in Jack's head as the original story is happening, i'm probably a lot worse at writing irish accents than i claim to be, idk - Freeform, jack is gay as fuck, k imma stop now, lots of cussing, tian!jack, tiny!Arin, tiny!Holly, tiny!Jack, tiny!Kevin, tiny!Ross, why am i still tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 02:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7296616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqqrieved/pseuds/aqqrieved
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, Jack, right?” <i>Holy shite, is fockin’ God talking to me?</i> The guy’s voice was deep and smooth, and <i>wait, isn’t this guy a 9th year? How the fock is his voice so deep?!</i></p><p>or</p><p><i>I'm Not A Giant, You Dingus</i>, told from Jack's perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Little Dude'? Are Ye Fockin' Kiddin' Me?

Dark.

It was very, very dark. And cramped. Very, very cramped, and Jack _hated_ small spaces. He could hear the shuffling of other Tians in their boxes but he didn’t dare move. He stared at what was most likely the wall of the box as the box of smaller boxes-- _Jesus fockin' Christ that hurts my head_ \--was transported somewhere; from what Jack had gathered, they were being taken to a classroom. He had also gathered that they were being ‘assigned’ to students. Meaning, on one hand, he wasn’t gonna be dissected or anything, which considerably lightened his anxiety, but, on the other hand, this was a _high school._ Not to mention a _freshman_ Biology course.

Really, he was still screwed.

A loud, obnoxious noise sounded everywhere around Jack and he threw his hands over his ears. _That’ll be the bell,_ he thought, annoyed. He heard the teacher start talking. She was drawling on about care instructions, and the way that she was talking about them like they were _pets_ made him sick to his stomach.

Although, Jack supposed that’s what they were to humans. Pets, toys, experiments. She announced that she was going to hand out information packets, and afterward proceeded to hand out the boxes. Suddenly, his box was grabbed roughly, and placed back down on a desk. And, only seconds after he’d been placed, he could feel a...rustling? Scratching? Something, on the side of the box. It was...oddly comforting.

Finally, it was announced that they could all open the boxes, and Jack grimaced and prepared himself. The kid that opened his box was…

 _Jesus fock, he’s gorgeous,_ Jack thought. He could really only see his face, or part of it, through the opening but _damn._ He’d had an excited look on his face, but when Jack flinched and stared back at him, not even hiding his fear, his expression dropped. Jack felt _bad_ for being scared. The students were instructed to skillfully remove the Tians from their boxes, and Jack sucked in a breath and was ready to be manhandled carelessly--

“Hey, Jack, right?” _Holy shite, is fockin’ God talking to me?_ The guy’s voice was deep and smooth, and _wait, isn’t this guy a 9th year? How the fock is his voice so deep?!_ Jack flinched, more so at the volume than the guy himself, and nodded. “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. My name’s Mark. Do you wanna get out of that box?”

 _Mark._ Jack let the name roll around in his head before registering his question. Yes, he wanted out of the box, but _hell no he did not want out of the box._ He shook his head frantically. “Jack, it’s alright. I won’t touch you, but you’ve gotta get out of the box,” Mark coaxed. Jack was extremely hesitant, but nodded.

Mark tilted the box, and Jack crawled out and onto the desk. Mark smiled, and _sweet Jesus he’s got a nice smile,_ but then flushed as he realized that the whole class was staring at him strangely. Jack looked around, and then up at him curiously. The teacher handed each of them a shoebox containing the bare minimum of required items; a bathroom, a package of food, and a thin cloth described as a blanket. Jack shivered, and Mark decided to hand him the ‘blanket.’ Jack declined immediately, scooting the _fuck_ away, but Mark took it upon himself to drape it across his shoulders.

 _This douchebag! I said I didn’t want the damn blanket._ Jack gave him another curious look before tugging the blanket around his shoulders indignantly. The next thing Mark offered him was a pretzel. Mark held it out, and Jack approached cautiously. _Ye gonna shove it down my throat if I don’t take it?,_ he thought bitterly, pulling the pretzel toward himself. Mark gave him a warm smile, and _fock, stop that, ye handsome bastard._ He blushed, focusing on his pretzel.

When the class finally ended, Jack watched the other Tians get shoved into the shoeboxes with all the supplies. _Fock, fock, fock, please, don’t put me back in the box, please--_ Jack stared up at Mark with a terrified look. Mark was frowning. He closed the shoebox, and Jack was both relieved and confused. Mark gathered all of his stuff before offering his hand.

 _Oh, you focker._ “I’m not gonna shove you in a box, Jack. You’re coming with me. But, you gotta trust me and hop on,” Mark said softly. _Oh, you horrible, awful bastard. You absolute bag o’ dicks._ Mark glanced at the clock, and then back at Jack desperately. “Dude, please. I’m gonna be late.”

Jack continued to spew every curse he knew in his head before he slowly dragged himself into Mark’s hand. Then, Mark sprinted to his class, and Jack had to repeat the entire list to himself, clinging onto Mark’s hand. They reached Mark’s class, and that horrible, loud bell rang.

Mark set Jack down on the desk and caged him in with his arm, getting out a pencil and notebook. Throughout the whole class, people whispered about Mark; no one else had brought their Tian to class, let alone had them sitting on their desks. Jack spent the entire period hiding behind his blanket and leaning against Mark’s surprisingly buff arm, staring up at him. _Damn, you’re one sexy bastard. Maybe this won’t be_ too _bad…_

  


By lunch time, Jack was a little more comfortable with Mark. Mark’s friends, Bob and Wade? Not so much. Bob and Wade didn’t have Tians of their own. Jack had shied away from them immediately. They kept ogling him like a piece of meat or something. “Guys, back off, you’re freaking him out,” Mark said as Jack opted to hide behind his arm, “and, honestly, you’re freaking _me_ out.”

Bob and Wade apologized, turning back to their lunches, but Jack still caught their eyes every few seconds. It was really creepy. The Tian was still wrapped in the thin blanket, nibbling on the pretzel piece, but had positioned himself in the crook of Mark’s elbow as the latter typed away at his laptop. Jack was pleasantly surprised to see that he was looking for places to find stuff for _him._ “Alright, Jackaboy, what do you want to start with? I’m thinkin’ clothes?” Mark questioned, looking down at him with a smile. Jack blushed at the nickname, but nodded. He was excited to get out of the boring and uncomfortable t-shirt, sweats, and socks he’d been stuck in. Spotting a blue and green, striped hoodie, he tugged excitedly at Mark’s own grey, striped hoodie sleeve. Mark glanced down at him.

“This one?” he confirmed, pointing to the item of clothing on the screen. Jack nodded shyly. _Maybe yer not such a bag o’ dicks._ By the end of lunch time, they’d collected the hoodie, a pair of green Converse, multiple pairs of black skinny jeans, and a few plain t-shirts. And, of course, underwear and socks. Mark put his laptop away, gathered all of his stuff, and held out a hand for Jack. _I hate that ‘m already used te this,_ he thought as he climbed on.

Mark said goodbye to Bob and Wade, and man, Jack was really tired. He didn’t know why, considering he had done nothing. He was suddenly placed on Mark’s shoulder, between his neck and the hood of his sweater. He grabbed onto the hood, confused. “You can sleep, if you want. You look like you could use it.”

Jack stared at the bottom of Mark’s jaw apprehensively for about three minutes before giving up and cuddling closer to the larger teen’s neck, flustered.

  


"I hate doing this to you, but you're stuck here until I come back tomorrow. I'm gonna stay after school, though, so you won't have to be alone for too long. And they let you all out, so I'm sure you can make friends with the other Tians, and I'll even come in early tomorrow, I'm sure my mom could drive me--" Mark rambled nervously. It was the end of the day, and time for Jack to return to the Biology classroom. _Great, lovely,_ he thought sarcastically.

"Mark, it's okay," Jack croaked, voice scratchy with disuse. His Irish accent was still painfully obvious.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want to leave you here, even though I'm sure you can handle yourself--"

" _Mark_ ," Jack repeated firmly, "it's _okay_ ." _It’s not, but it’s the thought that counts, right?_

Mark smiled guiltily and stepped into the biology classroom. A big glass tank lined the counter in the back, a bunch of Tians scattered around. One other boy was in the classroom, a Tian in his hands, and they were talking. Mark seemed to recognize him.

Danny Avidan, one of Mark’s older friends, intimidated Jack at first glance. He wore a leather jacket, ripped, black jeans, and had a literal mane of curly hair; a ‘jew-fro,’ he’d been known to call it. But, Danny gave a bright, warm smile. Danny’s Tian had a blonde streak through his shoulder-length, brown hair. He regarded Jack, who was hidden shyly in the hood of Mark’s sweater, with a “‘sup, bro?” and a smile. Jack lifted his quivering lips into a scared sort of grimace.

"Hey, Danny!"

"Mark! What's up, man?"

"Same thing as you, it looks like. Glad I'm not the only one who isn't being a total d-bag to their Tian." Mark took a seat next to Danny on the floor.

"Nah, bro, Arin's super chill." He smiled down at his Tian, and then looked kindly at Jack. "What's your name, little dude?"

"Jack," he introduced quietly. _Fockin’ ‘little dude’? Are ye fockin’ kiddin’ me?_

"Nice to meet you, Jack. You got lucky; Mark's the _biggest_ sweetheart I know. You're in good hands, sometimes _literally_ ." Mark blushed slightly, and Jack laughed softly. "It's a good thing I caught you here, though, Mark; I was gonna introduce Jack and Arin so neither of 'em get lonely while we're gone." _This is some arranged marriage bullshit right here._

"Oh, thank God! I was so worried he was going to be all alone," Mark said with a relieved sigh. _’M right fockin' here, dickbag._

“Yeah, I feel you. I didn’t want to leave Arin here all alone. Most of these Tians have already formed their cliques, and they’re all so terrified that they aren’t really taking applications,” Danny said sadly. He brightened up, however. “But, there is Ross, Barry’s Tian. And Holly, Suzy’s Tian. And Brian has one named Kevin, he’s younger than most of these guys.”

“Oh, cool, where are they?”

“Hey, guys! Come over here!” Danny called into the tank on the counter. Three Tians pushed themselves out of a corner and rushed over.

“Danny!” they all called, big grins on their faces. “Arin!”

Danny dipped his cupped hands into the tank, Arin darting up his arm to his shoulder. The three climbed on. “Suzy and Barry couldn’t stay after, and Brian’s in Physics club.”

Ross was a skinny little guy. He had short, light brown hair, and the faintest of Australian accents. He gave Jack an evil grin. Jack thought he was insane. Holly had wavy, shoulder-length, dyed pink hair. She loved birds, going on to Jack about how one day, she would make a saddle and ride one. Jack thought she was insane, too. Kevin was a short(er than the rest of them) Filipino kid, and had dark hair. He was shy and kind, and probably the only sane one. Jack didn’t count himself as sane.

 

“Okay, I’ll be here at like 7:50, and I’ll come get you immediately--”

“Mark, stop worryin’ about me. I’ll be fine,” Jack assured him. _Just go away, you handsome bastard._   

“Okay, okay. Bye, Jackaboy, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Bye, Markimoo!” Mark grinned at the nickname, and set Jack down gently in the tank. Danny said goodbye to Ross, Holly, and Kevin, and put them back in the tank.

“See ya later, big cat,” Danny said to Arin, a soft smile on his lips. Arin smiled back, giving him a small wave.

“Bye, Dan.” Once he was in the tank, he moved to stand by Jack. Mark trailed after Danny as they left.

“You totally like him,” Arin said to Jack. Jack looked at him, bug-eyed.

“ _Dude_!”

 

It took Jack a few weeks to fully warm up to Mark, and even longer to warm up to Bob and Wade. It took him some length in between to warm up to Danny and Arin, and slightly longer than that to warm up to Barry, Suzy, Ross, Holly, and Kevin. He still hadn’t quite warmed up to Brian.

Brian scared him-- _Dude’s fockin’ scary!_ \--and now he could see what Mark meant when he said that he was interested to see how he would be with Kevin. Surprisingly, he was incredibly gentle with the Tian, and, really, all of the Tians.

Bob and Wade were intimidating at first, purely because they ogled at him for the first month or so, and it made Jack feel like they wanted to dissect him or something. _Creepy fockers._ Eventually, they stopped, and Jack actually thought that they made pretty good friends. He could see why they were Mark’s _best_ friends.

Barry and Suzy were very kind. Suzy was a little spooky, but that was really just because she dressed in all black and liked taxidermy. It was ironic; Holly liked birds, and Suzy liked to stuff them. Barry just talked about Pokemon a lot, and joked about how the Tians were like Pokemon. He was the one who suggested their Halloween costumes; Humans as Trainers, Tians as Pokemon. Jack thought it was ridiculous.

He was also the most enthusiastic to do it.

Ross was, as it had taken all of about 5 minutes to realize, a sadist. _Still think he’s insane._ He was cool, but he was also a dick most of the time. Holly was the definition of a flower child, and her goal in life, as she’d reminded them all many times, was to ride a bird. _Still think_ she’s _insane._ Her and Ross were pretty close, which was a little surprising, but they got along very well.

Kevin was the cutest of them all. He was kind, and innocent, and they were all worried that Brian was going to ruin him. He was easily scared, and didn’t talk too much, but they all liked him. He was pretty easy to get along with.

Danny, while tall, dark, and brooding, was the most cheerful, happy guy Jack had ever met. Arin was pretty cool most of the time, too, but he tended to get angry very quickly at whatever video game they played that night.

Jack _adored_ video games. So, when second semester came along and they were allowed to bring their Tians home, Mark, Jack, Danny, and Arin would all hang out at Danny’s, since his parents were never home, and played all sorts of games. Sometimes, on special occasions, the whole gang would gather and play.

Jack and Arin manned one controller together, Jack on buttons, right joystick, and right trigger, Arin on left joystick, left trigger, and distractions--he was good at making jokes that rendered people unable to do anything but laugh. Sometimes it backfired, and would render _Jack_ unable to play.

Mark and Danny manned their own controllers. They mostly played FPSs and multiplayer titles, like COD and Portal 2--with Portal 2 and other 2-player games, Mark and Jack shared a controller and Arin and Danny shared the other--but, sometimes they would play a story-based game; although, everyone usually fell asleep while Mark played.

Well, Mark and Danny were usually able to stay up, but Arin and Jack were out like lights before anything good happened.

Sometimes, when Danny and Arin couldn't hang out, Jack and Mark would play story-based games on their own, discussing which paths to take and what to do. One particular favorite of theirs was Life Is Strange. Jack and Mark would cry, and get mad, and laugh, and really _feel_ with the game. Jack got invested in the Pricefield ship, making most decisions to get the two characters together. He also joked about how they reminded him of him and Mark.

"Kiss me, I dare ye," Jack imitated. He'd been grinning jokingly, but Mark lifted him up and pressed a kiss to his small face, practically smothering him with his lips. It was over almost as soon as it happened, but Jack's entire face, ears, and neck turned a bright red. His hair stuck up in the front with saliva. He was frozen still.

"I'm sorry, oh, man, that was probably really weird, and I should've mentioned that I'm bisexual, and oh, God, you're probably _so_ freaked out--" Mark rambled worriedly.

" _Mark_ ! It's--it's okay," Jack insisted. He stared at Mark like he was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. Really, he _was._ Mark reached out and flattened the front of Jack's hair with a finger.

 

They don't talk about the kiss. They leave it as it was, by everyone can see that Jack blushes whenever he catches Mark's eyes. Everyone can see that their feelings have changed. Or at least Jack's had.

Danny and Arin start dating 6 months after they first met. Jack is extremely happy for them, but it jump starts realization that he and Mark should _probably_ talk about the kiss. Mark's biology report is due in a week. He stares at a blank document for 3 days.

On day 4, Jack confronts Mark. He storms across the desk, and stands in front of the keyboard. The beginning of tears are in his eyes. Mark closes the document. They sit in silence for about 5 minutes.

"Mark, I just need to know if ye meant it," he blurts out. Mark's eyebrows furrow before his eyes widen in realization.

"Jack, I--of course I meant it. I wouldn't--did you think I didn't?" Jack looks away guiltily. _Yes, I thought ye didn’t mean it. Why the fock else am I stand in' here fer?_ "Jack--" Jack turns away, ignoring him.

" _Sean_ ," Mark says firmly, "I meant it. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't." Jack finally looks up at him, eyes and cheeks wet. Mark smiled at him, using his thumb to wipe away the tears on his face.

“So, Mark, ye wanna be my giant boyfriend?” Mark laughed, hard.

“I'm not a giant, you're a Tian, you dork.”

“Is that a yes?” Jack asks with an eyebrow wiggle. Mark presses another large kiss to the Tian’s face.

“Yes, I will be your _normal_ sized boyfriend. As long as you'll be my tiny boyfriend.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, ye doof.”


End file.
